Good Eats Geek Code

version 1.1

by Anthony Foglia <afoglia@physics.ucsb.edu>

Instructions

The Good Eats Geek Code, like all geek codes, is comprised of a number of categories, labeled below. Next to each label, add the modifiers that best describe you. Your complete geek code is the list of each individual label+modifier combo.

Modifiers

Most modifiers are of the simple +/- variety. The more pluses after a category label, the more strongly you support/enjoy it. The more minuses, the more you dislike it.

In addition, there are some special modifiers.

@

This modifier goes after any +/-'s and states that the rating given is not necessarily fixed and may vary considerably depending on situation and mood..

()

This modifier goes after any +/-'s and states that the rating given depends highly on the situation. A fan who really likes the first season, but not dislikes the second would be characterized by GE++(-).

>

This modifier joins two other groups of modifiers. The preceding modifiers represent the current state of the author, and the following modifier represents the desired state. For instance, a wannabe briner would be GE++>+++.

?

This modifier is used in place of any other modifier. It represents a lack of knowledge of the category. For example, SC? would represent a viewer who has not seen any episodes with Shirley yet.

!

Unlike other modifiers, this one comes before the category label. Use this when you feel such a strong dislike, you refuse to participate in the category. For instance, a !rec indicates the individual steadfastly refuses to make any recipe from Good Eats.

Example Code

Here is an example

GE++>+++ AB++ W+ MB++ PM++ SC++ MFC++ DD+ CR CH e+ sc+ pt++ rec+ tg++ tf+ FP++ FTV- YC++ YG+

General Opinion

GE

A general summation of your opinion of the show. A quick, easy way for people to understand where you stand on Good Eats.

GE+++++

I am Alton Brown.

GE++++

I have entire shows quoted to memory. I cook things Alton's way or no way.

GE+++

Proud Briner. I'll buy anything Alton's used. I'll consult the show for tips and techniques to use in all my cooking.

GE++

I watch it every week, all 6 airings.

GE+

Great cooking show. I watch it most weeks, if it's a new episode.

GE

It's a cooking show. It's on TV.

GE-

I've seen it, but don't get it. He goes into too much detail about everything.

GE--

I try not to watch it. I don't like the show.

GE---

Dicey's pizza all the way!

GE----

Cooking? Is that what the room with the sink but no toilet is for?

GE-----

I subsist entire on Cheez-Whiz and Miracle Whip.

Characters

AB

AB, Alton Brown, Alton, the host, the writer, the editor, the director. The man behind Good Eats. Known for his quirky sense of humor, culinary skill, and pig slippers.

AB+++

AB is a god among men. All that he speaks is the holiest of the holy.

AB++

AB is A+ in my book. I want to be like him, so I've started wearing bowling shirts.

AB+

AB is cool. I wish I had more friends like him.

AB

He's okay.

AB-

He's annoying. I don't see what's so great about him.

AB--

This show would be much better if they replace AB.

AB---

Emeril can "bam" AB's butt any day.

AB----

I am BA.

W

When Alton needs advice on equipment, he turns to this mistress of equipment. Only one problem, Alton has a tendency to get on her nerves.

W+++

Why, hello. I'm the Keymaster. ;-)

W++

W stands for "What a Woman" in my dictionary.

W+

W is pretty cool. I like how she gets frustrated by AB.

W

W is a letter in the alphabet.

W-

W needs to chill. Maybe a date with Vlad would help.

W--

W gets on my nerves like AB gets on hers.

W---

If W's a robot, I really hope they upgrade to Y?

MB, Marsha Brown

Alton's sister. Enjoys large arts and crafts projects a la Martha Stewart.

MB+++

I want to be her Ronco.

MB++

Marsha can kick Martha's ass, and probably would if given the opportunity.

MB+

Marsha's a good foil for AB.

MB

She's okay.

MB-

Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! It's always about Marsha! Harumph.

MB--

She's loud, demanding, and annoying. (Just like my sister.)

MB---

I hope she gets food poisoning from her stuffing.

PM, Paul Merchant

Alton's trusty intern/lab rat/whipping boy. Also, the secret identity of Leverman, who can move the world with a lever long enough.

PM+++

I cried at the death of Duckman.

PM++

I hope to be accepted as a GE intern.

PM+

Paul is a cool guy. I like how he's AB's whipping boy.

PM

I could go either way with Paul.

PM-

Paul is annoying. What was up with Leverman, anyway?

PM--

Shouldn't his internship be over by now? I hope so.

PM---

He should have been executed for treason for assisting the Frenchman. I would have gladly fired upon him.

SC, Shirley Corriher

Food scientist extraordinaire. When a scientific explanation of brining, emulsions, or beans is required, Alton can count on her to explain it clearly.

SC+++

Shirley should get her own show. She's the cooking science queen! (And her biscuits are better than Ma Mae's. :-) )

SC++

I own Cookwise and refer to it often.

SC+

I like her appearances on the show.

SC

Shirley's okay.

SC-

Shirley is annoying.

SC--

Shirley gets way too much pleasure talking about food science. It sounds like she's high. Or related to Doug Henning.

SC---

Shirley should get her own show so she's no longer on GE.

MFC, Mad French Chef

Alton's arch-nemesis. A strict adherent to the traditions and methods of cooking knowledge over the ages, even when they make no scientific nor practical sense.

MFC+++

Vive le chef! Vive le chef!

MFC++

You must never, never insult the French chef!

MFC+

He's a great character. I'll miss him.

MFC

I could go either way on most Frenchmen, and the chef is no exception.

MFC-

I find him annoying. And not in the way he was meant to be.

MFC--

He should be locked up in a padded room.

MFC---

All French stink like limburger and the MFC is no exception.

DD, Deborah Duchon

Nutritional anthropologist on call. Anywhere. Even in the middle of a field. Heck, especially in the middle of the field. Say the magic words, and she'll tell you all about the history of corn. Excuse me, maize.

DD+++

I often say I'm not a nutritional anthropologist just to see if she'll appear, like she does in my dreams.

DD++

I love it when she appears. I learn so much from her.

DD+

She's pretty good. I enjoy her.

DD

Debbie? She's all right. Not good. Not bad.

DD-

She's gets a little on my nerves.

DD--

She's annoying. AB shouldn't have her on again.

DD---

When Debbie appears, I have violent seizures.

CR, Cousin Ray

Alton's bumpkin cousin. I don't think that branch of the family tree has many forks, if you know what I mean.

CR+++

I want Ray to be my hunk of, hunk of burning love.

CR++

I wish Ray was my cousin. Family gatherings woule have been much more fun.

CR+

Ray's good for a laugh or two.

CR

I don't care either way about Ray.

CR-

Ray is boring and annoying.

CR--

Ray, Ray, go away. Come again some other day.

CR---

Ray should make some shrimp sushi and chow down.

CH, Chuck

Chuck, butcher, amateur filmmaker, and Gobble Golf course owner/manager, everyman.

CH+++

Chuck is dreamy. Awwww...

CH++

I wish I was invited to Chuck's party. Yum, olives. :-)

CH+

Chuck is cool.

CH

Chuck? He's okay. Nothing special.

CH-

How could a guy who's a butcher selling turkey not know what a 7 bone roast is?

CH--

Chuck is annoying. AB should just leave him to his plastic bag filming.

CH---

I watch cooking shows for food. Not for Hogan's Alleys of cartoon characters.

Equipment

e, All the Equipment

From constant calls for salt cellars to hunting for teapots mere minutes after their premiere, the equipment is a very important part of Good Eats and Good Eats fan culture.

e+++

If Alton has it, I own it. I stalk his house, peeping through windows to know what new gizmo to buy next.

e++

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

e+

Alton's equipment is a good guide of what to look for and purchase for my kitchen.

e

Some of the equipment is good, some is okay. It's a toss up.

e-

I'd rather choose form over function in all my kitchen equipment.

e--

I find Alton's equipment tips to be useless.

e---

Multitasking? Who needs that. I purchase crates of garlic peelers, pizza stones, and steamer inserts from Williams-Sonoma.

sc, Salt Cellar

The most desired item in Alton's possession. Nary a week goes buy without someone asking where they can find one. So desired, Alton has designed his own model to be sold soon to eager Good Eats fans.

sc+++

I'm going to be the first to purchase the official Alton Brown Good Eats Salt Cellar.

sc++

I'm currently using a cheese server and enjoying it immensely.

sc+

That salt cellar is cool. I'm planning on getting one in the future.

sc

Salt cellar or no salt cellar, it doesn't matter.

sc-

What's the big deal about the salt cellar? It just holds salt.

sc--

Seriously, do we really need salt cellars? What's the purpose?

sc---

Salt cellars are stupid ideas. I'll die before I let one in my kitchen.

sc?

Salt cellar? Is that like a root cellar? Isn't it a pain to have to go downstairs to keep getting salt?

pt, Probe Thermometer

Another oft desired item. The probe thermometer is probably the second-most used item on the show. Not only does it measure temperature, but it doubles double duty as timer. Ideally, a model should have temperature alarm capabilities, so you can safely ignore that roasting bird till the beeping.

pt+++

Man, that Polder probe thermometer is awesome! I use it for everything. Even boiling water!

pt++

The probe thermometer is very useful. I'm glad I bought one.

pt+

I'm going to get a probe thermometer soon.

pt

The probe thermometer is okay.

pt-

I'll stick with my old thermometers for the time being.

pt--

Thermometer? I don't need no stinking thermometer.

pt---

The only thermometer I need is the popup kind conveniently located in the bird.

Recipes/Shows

rec, All the Recipes

Although humor's a huge portion of the show, at it's heart, Good Eats is a show about cooking. And cooking shows have recipes. Heck, Good Eats is one of the few shows on Food TV that actually puts the recipes up on screen.

rec+++

The only food I make is from Good Eats.

rec++

I have made all the recipes at least once.

rec+

I've made most of the recipes.

rec

I've some of the recipes.

rec-

I've tried some of the recipes, and I didn't care for them.

rec--

I've tried many of the recipes, and I hated them.

rec---

I think the recipes should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

rec?

I have yet to make any of Alton's recipes.

tg, Thanksgiving

The first Good Eats special was the hour long Thanksgiving episode. Besides introducing a number of members of the Good Eats family, this is the show that gave birth to the Good Eats culture of brining.

tg+++

I eat Thanksgiving the way the Pilgrims should have, by following all Alton's recipes.

tg++

Brining is great. No more desert-dry turkey jerky for me.

tg+

Good episode, good recipes.

tg

Some recipes were good, some were okay.

tg-

Brining a bird looks like too much work.

tg--

Dipping sauce? It ain't Thanksgiving if the cranberry sauce don't jiggle!

tg---

Dipping sauce and no stuffing! Are you nuts?!? tg?

I'm from a country with no Thanksgiving.

tf, Tofu

A third season episode on tofu created a number of recipes involving the jiggly white food. One is widely adored. The other, widely scorned. (Rare for a Good Eats recipe.)

tf+++

I eat Filet o Fu every day! Yum yum!

tf++

The mooless chocolate pie is great, but what was Alton thinking with the Filet of Fu?

tf+

The episode got me over my fear of tofu, but what was Alton thinking with the Filet of Fu?

tf

I'm indifferent towards tofu.

tf-

Tofu? What else is on the menu?

tf--

Tofu? Ech...

tf---

Tofu? Gross. :-P

GE Fan Culture

FP, Good Eats Fan Page

At the top of any list of Good Eats culture must be the Good Eats Fan Page. It's such an encyclopedic, inclusive, vast archive of Good Eats knowledge, even Alton himself is amazed, and perhaps a little perturbed.

FP++++

I am MikeMenn.

FP+++

It's the best Fan Page out there ever. Wow! I read it every day.

FP++

All of the info is detailed, accurate and complete. I can't get enough.

FP+

I peruse the transcripts on a regular basis.

FP

I drop by the Fan Page from time to time.

FP-

It's okay, but it doesn't have the critical mass necessary to get me to visit.

FP--

I've been there and it's so poorly designed it crashed my browser.

FP?

There's a fan page? Who would be so obsessed to make a Good Eats fan page?

FTV, Food TV forum

The message board on the Food TV web site is the only place on the net where Alton posts, albeit sporadically. Is his presence enough to offset the criticized interface?

FTV+++

The Food TV Forum is great. The interface rocks!

FTV++

I read and post to the FTV forum often.

FTV+

I read the FTV forum regularly.

FTV

I've dropped in occasionally.

FTV-

I'm only there because Alton is there.

FTV--

I'd read it if it was the only source of Good Eats information.

!FTV

I wouldn't wade my way through such a terribly designed page if you paid me.

YC, Yahoo Club

The traditional online gathering place of Good Eats fans, the Yahoo Good Eats Club has been hosting and encouraging Good Eats discussion for nearly two years.

YC+++

I am Holly.

YC++

I read and post to the Yahoo club often.

YC+

I read the club regularly.

YC

I've dropped by occasionally.

YC-

The club is not that great.

YC--

I'd read it if it was the only source of Good Eats information.

YC---

Yahoo? Poo-poo.

YG, Yahoo Groups

A new but swiftly rising entry in the Good Eats community field, the Yahoo GoodEatswithAltonBrown group is the home to the weekly post show chats.

YG+++

Groups rock! They're so much better than Clubs! Everyone should switch from the club to the group ASAP, PDQ!

YG++

I read and post to the Yahoo Group often.

YG+

I read the group regularly.

YG

I've dropped by occasionally.

YG-

The group is not all it's cracked up to be.

YG--

I'd read it if it was the only source of Good Eats information.

!YG

It should be named simply "GoodEats" not "GoodEatswithAltonBrown-
theguywhosortoflookslikeThomasDolbybutwasn'tblindedbysciencebut-
insteadusessciencetomakegoodeatswhichiswherethetitle-
ofhisshowonFoodNetworkcomesfrom."

Acknowledgements

The Good Eats Geek Code is obviously based on the original Geek Code; my thanks to the author, Robert Hayden, for doing all the original work. Also, I'd like to thank Mike Menninger, the man who knows more about Good Eats than AB himself, for the original idea and editing my drafts. And finally, thanks to the entire Yahoo Good Eats Club for the help/advice/suggestions for the code, and all the conversation.

Copyright

The Good Eats Geek Code is copyright © 2001 by Anthony Foglia. All rights reserved. Distribution is permitted provided the file remains unmodified and this copyright notice remains attached. The original copy of this page is/was at <http://www.physics.ucsb.edu/~afoglia/GoodEats/GEGeekCode.html>.